mental miles

Love thrives in safety and connection. Fear thrives in uncertainty and isolation.

Perspective: 

When we feel loved, we feel safe enough to be ourselves, to be seen, and to be known.

Erik Erikson’s theory of psychological development suggests that when love serves as the foundation, a thriving human life is shaped from childhood into adulthood. Trust enables toddlers to assert their independence, encourages elementary school-age children to initiate activities, helps middle schoolers develop competence, and supports adolescents in forming their identities. This foundation fosters adults who are capable of forming intimate relationships, contributing meaningfully to society, and becoming elders who can look back on their lives with satisfaction.

While Erikson’s theory has been critiqued due to the complexity of human development, it offers a universal starting point for understanding a fundamental human need: love as a cornerstone for safety and growth.

Not everyone is fortunate enough to receive consistent care in childhood, but each person has the potential to cultivate self-love, platonic love, romantic love, and communal love. These forms of love can help heal past deficits and facilitate personal growth.

Ultimately, embracing love can drive out the fear that limits us, opening the door to the life we desire.

Evidence-based Insight:

Studies show that the love and bonding hormone, oxytocin, reduces stress and promotes trust and safety. You can boost oxytocin levels through physical touch (hugging, cuddling, and massage), spending quality time, acts of kindness, engaging in romantic relationships, petting animals, embracing laughter, and sharing music experiences. These practices foster a sense of connection leading to measurable benefits to overall well-being.

Reflective Question: 

In what ways is fear keeping you from experiencing love and connection? How can you overcome this fear and open your heart to others?